I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
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