girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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