I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
the day after is always just damage control
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize