Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
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