He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I ended up sleeping with him in a public bathroom because neither of us remembered where we lived. I have hit a new low.
Randomize
