I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
Okay you're seriously so fucking annoying its like having a baby
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I'm at a bar where I literally walked in to the bathroom and some chick told me to never go to San Joaquin state pen
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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