i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Spotted: forty year old in red dress, cigarette in hand, squatting to pee by railroad tracks. Hello future.
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
