Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
