I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
She's like a pop up book from hell.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
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