Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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