I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Somewhere during foreplay he said something about me only being with two other guys... I just went with it cause we have never had that conversation...
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
