You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
Rule travel - in 2s or put an ankle monitor on me, and maybe a shock collar.
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Randomize
