We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
can you explain how you are here for one night and now my kitchen table is in 11 pieces..
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
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