i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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