there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
