It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I've never been so excited to have my ass in so much pain.
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
