she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
Heard it's your birthday. I can't send pictures, but go ahead and imagine my balls.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
i came on her dog
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
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