Dude im not sure whos apartment i woke up in but i just showered here and their shampoo in phenomenal
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
You dont lie about slip and slides
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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