Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
The only thing I regret was that he was wearing a scarf when we made out.
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
Randomize
