there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
