sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
