yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
mondays should just be called national damage control day
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I'm going to write a new song and call it "Did I wax my vagina for this?" remind me to never go across the country for a penis ever again.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
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