Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
My mind's like "He's a sexist pig" but my uterus is like "YOU SHALL BEAR HIM STRONG CHILDREN"
A+ Viking dick
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
Randomize