i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
Yeah, I wouldn't mind getting fingered in the corner of a dive bar again.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?