You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
im on a boat
How did you get this number?
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