But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
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The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
I'm still in my ugly sweater and underwear drinking coffee next to a plate of assorted treats we stole from the party. I got a new sweater by the way, its shoulderpad-y and looks like a news anchor got thrown up on by Liberace. I'm pretty proud.
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
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P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Randomize