i think my tv is drunk
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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