LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
