Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Be proud. All I did last night was roll around in my nun costume selling drugs. I love Halloween.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
Randomize
