LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
