Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
Randomize
