I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Your penis caused this!
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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