i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
I need to find my pants, a way out of here, and a cheeseburger.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
You are not the cause of late onset lesbianism.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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