If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
Randomize
