If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
I drunk madeout with my mom last night. it's guna be an awkward breakfast.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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