Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
if i dont get laid while im dressed as Tim Tebow, i'm just staying true to the costume.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
Randomize
