I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
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