went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Yeah we fucked. I ran into her the next day, I had to pick up the girl scout cookies I ordered from her boyfriends kids.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Randomize
