"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Life is so much better after having sex.
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
