so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
You know you have crossed to the dark side of marriage when a nap is more important than jacking off
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
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