no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I think I sprained my soul last night
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
He showed up in a dinosaur costume bearing a tray of cupcakes. He even let me hold his tail. I'm marrying this guy.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
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