I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Randomize
