I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
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