this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I wish the inside of the tampon box said "CONGRATULATIONS YOUR NOT A MOTHER!"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize
