What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Also you know what's irritating? When the guy you're sleeping with refuses to like any of your Instagram posts
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
Randomize
