I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
im about as happy as oj after his trial
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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