I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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