i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
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