And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
