i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
you made out with another girl for some wings
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
