...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Amanda Bynes on the cover of maxim is my 8th grade masturbation fantasy come to life
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
