We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
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He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
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I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
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