I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
She can't meet us until 830...there's no hope for our sobriety at that hour
You tried to steal my pants at 3am saying they were yours and somebody was gonna die, not cool dude
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
Randomize
