That's intense
I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
Randomize
