handjob tips. give me some.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Hey, who is this? Sorry, you're in my phone as "you better remember".
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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