I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
God I need to hump something, right now.
Randomize
