Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
did i just pee glitter
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize
