Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
