i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
