Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
Cover your peen. We're going out.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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