Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
