Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
WTF was I supposed to tell them? "hi mom and dad, this is some rando I met on the internet. please ignore the noises that will be coming from my bedroom for the next 60-90 minutes. kthxbye."
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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