The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Woke up pants less in the vacant apartment across the hall. It was unlocked because they were showing it to someone. When they walked in I woke up and said "this is a great place to live" and walked out
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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