Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize
