I can't breathe out the right side of my face
i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Randomize
